Learning to Love the Fall...

So today whilst having a quiet afternoon, I though I would go through some old songs that I had on our home server so I could add some new music (or old favourites) to my shuffle for tomorrows Dolphin Run. My music choice is kinda varied but most that are kept are ones that have lyrics which have some sort of meaning or have some sort of connection to different times in my life.

For the last 12 months, through my weight loss journey, I could seriously put together my own soundtrack, which one day I might just do. For now however, I found a song which is nothing short of perfect for how I feel right now and I honestly think a lot of people who are on the same journey as me, could totally relate :)

What song am I referring to, you ask? Well its actually not a real old song at all, however its called "Love the Fall" by Michael Paynter. Just have a read of the lyrics (youtube vid for your listening pleasure is below):


[Verse1]
I remember the time, when I was searching my mind
Just to find out if I ever define who I am,
Could I ever afford to consider being more,
I was sure that I saw all the world, but I keep wishing for more,
So I keep checking my direction, watching my own reflection,
And I'm still, still in connection with the way I wanna be
Did I behave, 'cause I've been stuck here for days,
I'm in a daze, had the chance to be your savior but I threw it away;

[Chorus]
What if I dive off the edge of my life and there's nothing beneath?
What if I live like there's nothing to lose just to die on my knees?
At least I know, I walked the door, I took the scars, I risked it all,
And learned to love the fall.

[Verse 2]
I could never see how it hurts, to feel the worst,
I'll never make it, even though how it hurts,
That I won't be that type of guy that never tried
That never took a chance, or took his moment to fly to be free,

You may be of the opinion that I'm making a wrong decision,
That I'm giving up the chance to live my life in your vision,
But I can't give up, no I won't give up,
Until you see that okay is never ever enough;

[Chorus]
What if I dive off the edge of my life and there's nothing beneath?
What if I live like there's nothing to lose just to die on my knees?( What if I live )
At least I know, I walked the door, I took the scars, I risked it all
And learned to love the fall.

I'm here,
My hands are cold, my heart is racing,( Yeah )
The only fear is fear of failing.

[Chorus]
What if I dive off the edge off my life and there's nothing beneath?
What if I live like there's nothing to lose just to die on my knees?
At least I know, I walked the door, I took the scars, I risked it all,
And learned to love the fall;And learned to love the fall.

So tell me, do you have a song that really resonates with you? What is it?

Closing of one chapter, open into another...

Over the next few weeks, Im about to close off one chapter and enter a whole other chapter in my life. Round 4 of 12wbt will come to an end next week (party in Brisbane baby and my birthday weekend!! WOHOO), Round 1 will start (which after some thoughts I will most likely do) and I move house...again...hopefully for the last time in my life, unless its in a pine box. Moving house means Project Reno will likely begin but moving to Project Reno means I can finally start this next chapter properly. Oh and I also start uni! 

The last 3-4 months for me, I kinda have felt like I have been in limbo. Ive gone from having the comforts of my routine, to having really no routine and even though I have planned my exercise, its just not the same. I feel like in round 4, I lost my way because I didnt have my normal routine. I feel like that baby learning to walk for the first time, unsure of where that next step will take me (hell who am I kidding, my next step is generally face first into the ground, accident prone over here people!)

I have gone from having my familiar gym, my group pt girls, my personal trainer....to nothing. Signing up for any gym membership whilst living in concrete jungle just simply was not an option. They all want you to sign up on contract and than it was the concern, Id get comfortable again and when I had to move, the proverbial rug would be yanked out from underneath me again, leaving me back in limbo. 

Ive tried to be consistent, Ive definitely lost cms, but this round for me, just simply put, hasnt been my round. Am I disappointed in myself? Maybe a little but Im not going to dwell on it. I plan to grow from it. From this last closing chapter, I have learnt:

• Ive learnt that I can do DVDs at home on my own, so on the days at Project Reno, I dont feel like driving to the gym (if i find a local I like), I know I can throw a DVD in and burn roughly 400calories on my own. 
• Ive learnt however I do miss having a personal trainer, so in this next chapter of Round 1, I will endeavour to have a training session once a week again with Army Ninja.
• Ive learnt that the number on the scale is not really a clear indication of what your body is made up of and that by using other technology, you can gain a clearer, more realistic picture (DEXA scan). Now dont get me wrong, this does not mean I dont care about the number on the scale, trust me I do (i still have my weekly hang ups about it, ask my scales!!) but I know now that I really dont have heaps of "fat" to lose and that if I lean up further, this in time will go. 
• Ive learnt I really do not like metro and cannot wait to move back to the country.
• Ive learnt I am definately mentally stronger than I thought I was previously and as long as I plan, I can stay on track. Its not planning which plans to fail me!
• Ive learnt that I do make a difference to other people and that people do appreciate me for who I am and what I have to say. I was told tonight by a dear friend that I would be proud of her because she has been exercising more and has started to try and jog. I AM BEYOND SUPER PROUD of her that she is doing this and trying to make a change in her health and fitness and I was super stoked she knows I believe in her! 
• Ive learnt that my 12wbt SA Crew family are truely an amazing bunch of people. I have made some very special friendships through this program which are lifelong ones. Ive learnt also that people even though they dont say much online, doesnt mean they dont notice you! At our lofty walk, I meet many new faces and had them come up and say hey Im xyz to which Id respond with, Hi Im xyz and they excitably go "OMG Its You!" - words cannot describe how this makes me feel!

This next chapter of my life, I enter with vigour and excitement. Im gonna reach my goal weight by the time I head overseas and baby, Im rocking that bikini!!

What have you been thinking about and learning about recently?

Bock Bocks, Bikes and Music...

Before I start...look at this pearl of stupid wisdom I saw today when I went to buy eggs....

Okay so clearly not a clear picture (I was trying to sneaky snap it but probably still look like an idiot with my phone in the fridge section) HOWEVER, under the word "Wattle ridge" it says "the Environmental Egg" and than if you look to the right it has "CAGE" - Can anyone tell me whats wrong with this picture!?

How are caged eggs environmental? 

Maybe its just me and I see the word CAGED and I get all "hippie, hug a tree and throw myself in front of the bulldozer" like. Maybe I should cage the CEO of this company and get someone to piss on their head whilst we feed them a crap load of antibiotics and bulking feed which has no nutritional value to the animal or us who consume them!

Clearly I buy organic free range. There is no other option in my eyes. I may not be a vegetarian but hell, I am ethical with what I buy when I eat. Its not really that much more. 

Poor bock bocks. Which is another thing Im looking forward to when we get to Project Reno. My own bock bocks and my own veggie patch....Oh and a bike!

It has been a few days of convincing, Hubby Ninja is concerned of me riding a bike, as I generally cannot walk without tripping (he said he would need the hospital on speed dial, cheeky bugger) but I told him that my boobs will get bigger and my butt will be firmer....He laughed, gave in, said he would give me some birthday money towards it but said I had to save for the rest. WINNER!

Now to save my $$, sell some stuff and Im gonna own a bike....MINUS the Lycra! 

Isnt she pretty! She is black and pink! Im seriously like a kid at Christmas - super excited!

So on Sunday, I have Dolphin Run. Im kinda glad I checked this today online because I originally had it in my diary for Saturday! I would have shown up like a right fool on Saturday without fail I promise you. Im crazy clever like that. Anyways, I digress. I need to revisit the songs on my shuffle (yes I own ONE apple product and thats ONLY because it was a gift from my auntie for my running!). Some of the songs I have on there generally are linked to someone. Its my way of when a song comes on, Im thinking of that person telling me to just keep going and dont stop!! For example:

• We are Young (Fun) - Mother Hen Ninja
• Do it Like That (Ricki Lee) - Mac Ninja
• Carry On (Fun) - Firey Ninja
• Check Yes Juliet (We the Kings) - My old friend Dan (passed away)
• Moves like Jagger (Maroon 5) - My good friend and previous Personal Trainer - Star PT Ninja
• Call me Maybe (Carly Rae Jepsen) - Dear friend Livestrong Model Ninja
• Hall of Fame (The Script) - My 12wbt SA Crew Family
• The Fighter (Gym Class Heros) - My 12wbt SA Crew Family
• Witchcraft (Pendulum) - RPM Crew at old gym

I love the fact that these songs will generally come on when I start to struggle and want to stop. Its generally the kick in the arse I need to push through the wall. 

So I have added some new stuff but looking for some inspiration! So tell me, what is your favourite song that helps you push through??

Orange Salad Heaven...

So today has been one of those days, you know those days, you have all the plans to complete a heap of stuff and you only touch the top of it. The day went quicker than a young blokes first time and I was seriously left sighing as I left the office, thinking and dreading what I have to get done before I go to Brisbane!!

Speaking of Brisbane, Mother Natures - Seriously!? What are you doing to these poor people, they only just recovered from the last flooding you gave them! Thank Lorna this time it wasnt as bad as two years ago but still!! We have a party to attend, could you please ease up!!

Dress hunting is still an ongoing saga. Ninja Hubby is over it and Im sure those Im seeking advice from are ready to justify why they shouldnt be friends with me anymore.  My dad offered to buy me one for my birthday and I found an absolutely gorgeous dress. It said IN STOCK SIZE 12! Im like Oh MY LORNA! I go to order the dress to get shot down in flames. Not in my size. Lying deceitful website. So Im watching another on ebay and also sent this website an email to see if they do have one and its just a fault with the website. At this rate I could have 2 dresses or no dresses and will be hamming up a black garbage bag with bling! At least Ill get noticed I guess.... haha

Today besides going like the wind bullseye, was good eating and exercise. Dinner was nearly the same old boring chicken salad but I called upon my SA Crews advice on how to not have another. I totally would have had the Mango Chicken Salad again, its a right winner in my eyes, but alas I didnt buy a mango (didnt feel like donating a kidney to coles to get one). I did however have an orange in my fridge still from last week. So I put together lettuce, cucumber, avo, orange, walnuts, splash of balsamic and grilled me some chicken to mix in. OH MY LORNA! Its a revolution! ORANGE in salad, new favourite! HEAVEN!! DO IT! Dont even question it like I did, cut that sucker up and throw it in. You wont regret it! (I would have snapped a pic for ya but my head went in that bowl and didnt come up for air til I was done! It was THAT GOOD!)

Exercise consisted of Jillian Yoga Meltdown. My hip has decided to not be impressed with me since the Lofty walk but I wasnt to let it beat me this time. I thought a good stretch out would be good for it plus good for my head. I had a ripper of a headache and the last thing I wanted to do was run with it. Burnt a good 260 calories, not bad, not great but Ill take it!

Things seem to be kinda on track in my head at the moment. Im being more interesting with foods and trying not to just eat carrot sticks and cucumbers. I think one of the reasons I get so side tracked is because I get bored. Im trying to make sure all my meals have that right balance of Carbs, Protein and Fat. If I have a piece of fruit, I am having 10 nuts to balance it out. Lets hope for a loss tomorrow, would be nice for a fricken change! Plus I dunno how many more beatings the scales will take before they fall apart....

So tell me, whats your favourite salad combo?

Breakfast - What was on your menu this morning?

This morning, I tried a new to me muesli which I purchased from my soon to be local fruit and veg place and I have to say, it was absolutely divine. Hubby ninja said it looked like chook feed and we didnt have chooks so who was eating it!? ME of course! When I saw the ingredients of it in the shop, it went straight into the basket as this baby was a nutritional powerhouse breaky for sure!

Ingredients: Sunflower seeds, Pepitas, rice bran flakes, almonds, puffed brown rice, dates (15%), Dried Banana Chips (5%), Organic puffed amaranth, Coconut oil. 

Calories per 50g serve was 239 calories of nutritional goodness. 

I had mine served with fresh strawberries and blueberries and organic skim milk :) Coffee to the side with no sugar! Breakfast of champions!

So what makes this a nutritional powerhouse? Well let Sensai explain!

Sunflower Seeds - They say large things come in small packages and this little seed is no exception. This tiny seed contains an exceptional source of Vitamin E which is the bodys primary fat-soluble antioxidant. Vit E has a momentous anti-inflammatory effect that have proven results in reducing the symptoms of asthma, osteoarthritis and rheumatoid arthritis. It also plays a very important role in the prevention of cardiovascular disease! On top of this, they are also a good source of Selenium, Magnesium and Protein (just 100g of these babies will give you a whopping 21g of Protein!)

Pepitas (aka Pumpkin Seeds) - These seeds also pack a punch of nutritional benefits. They offer a myriad of nutrients including amino acids, unsaturated fatty acids and a wealth of minerals such as calcium, potassium, niacin and phosphorous. They are high in most of the B vits, but also Vit C, D, E & K. They are also rich in beta carotene which can be converted to Vit A as needed by the body AND they are rich in the eye protective carotenoid lutin. Snacking on just one handful of these babies will provide an amazing 9 grams of body building protein along with manganese, magnesium, iron, copper and zinc! 

Rice Bran Flakes - High in dietary fibre and fibre means your fuller for longer! It is also natures gentle "sweep" of your internal digestion organs. By promoting bowel regularity, you significantly increase your bodies natural ability to process foods you consume. It also contains awesome antioxidant properties that help fight off toxins that our bodies are continually subjected to!

Almonds - My favourite nut of all time! Almonds are rich in dietary fibre, vitamins and minerals and is also packed with health promoting phyto-chemicals, which helps protect against diseases and cancers. It contains the all important Vit E, the all important B-complex vits such as riboflavin, niacin, thiamin, panthothenic acid, Vit B6 and folates. These important vits help boost your metabolism and help make it work at its best. Further to this, this awesome nut also has incredible sources of minerals such as Manganese, potassium, calcium, iron, magnesium, zinc and selenium. 

Puffed Brown Rice - Some mornings, I love this just on its own with banana, strawberries and milk. Its like having rice bubbles without all the added salt and crap that comes with it. This awesome cereal alternative contains not only the awesome properties of dietary fibre but it also contains very little fat, no sodium or cholestrol and contains very little calories. For the few calories, it does contains the important B vits, as well as significant amounts of zinc, magnesium and phosphorus. Its a wicked source of mineral manganese which is involved in the metabolism of carbohydrates and proteins and essential for a healthy nervous system!

Dates - are like natures candy and are a nugget of nutrition which will help tame any sweet toothes craving. Dates are sodium free, fat free, cholestrol free, are an awesome source of fibre (both soluble and insoluble), potassium, iron, calcium, magnesium, cooper and manganese. WOW! All that for a sweet treat, someone hand me some dates (and almonds to help level out the GI of these babies)

Banana Chips - Now banana chips are probably on par with potato chips really due to the fact they are pretty much fried the same way. In saying this, the whole packet only contains 5%, which really in the grand scheme of it, aint to bad. When I ate this breaky this morning, I think I may of got 1 banana chip!

Amaranth - of late, I have heard this one being talked about in books and online which has peaked my curiosity of what it actually tasted like. Bob Harper talks a bit about it in his book "The Skinny Rules" I have to admit, that after this mornings breaky, Im a fan! Amaranth, like Quinoa, is referred to as a grain but in actual fact, like Quinoa, is a seed! Another highly nutritious seed and offers a complete form of vegetable protein. It also contains a great source of dietary fiber, calcium and minerals such as iron, magnesium, phosphorus, copper and manganese. Amaranth is an awesome source of all essential amino acids, in particular lysine which has a strengthening, toning effect on the body. Amaranth is also gluten free, easily digested and is especially beneficial for active people, vegetarians, and pregnant and breastfeeding women. Like Quinoa, it also comes in many forms, from the seed inself to flour for baking! 

Coconut Oil - People who know me well, know I love all things coconut and this oil is no exception. It has multiple uses from being an awesome moisturiser for your skin and hair, but also having a fantastic nutritional benefit. Now I know what your thinking, coconuts are high in saturated fat, this cant be good for me HOWEVER its actually the complete opposite to what your thinking. Coconut oil has a thermogenic effect on the body, which means it actually SPEEDS up your metabolism! If you have digestion issues or tummy bloating (eg. IBS), adding this oil daily to your diet, may help you! Fatty acids found in coconut oil contain anti microbial properties, which have a soothing affect on bacteria, yeast infections (eg thrush) or parasites which cause poor digestion! Recently it has been reported to help with insulin resistance and Type 2 Diabetes, as it helps control blood sugar levels! Those suffering from the medical concerns mentioned above (eg IBS, thrush, insulin resistance, type 2 diabetes) apparently will benefit of having a teaspoon of this awesome oil every day before breakfast!

If you want to know how each vitamin plays a role in your body and health, have a read of this website! Its a favourite I have on my PC. http://health.howstuffworks.com/wellness/food-nutrition/vitamin-supplements/vitamins.html

Is your brain full now? If not, if you ate the muesli or any of these awesome foods, your belly should be! haha! :)

So tell me, what do you have for breakfast most mornings?

Disclaimer: Im no expert! I simply do a lot of reading and research, if something I have stated is wrong, please feel free to correct me :)

On top of Mt Lofty, all covered in sweat.... :)

HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY EVERYONE!!!

What a morning today was! I was up bright and early at 6am, dressed, ate and got in the car to walk another Lofty climb. Its addictive I tell ya. 

Playground Ninja organised the event and what a turn out we had. She coordinated it fantastically and she deserves a huge virtual high five! The turn out consisted of 20 - 12wbt members which was a mix of previous rounds, current round and the upcoming round! Was so awesome to see such enthusiasm to tackle Adelaide's premier hiking track. For those who dont know what Mt Lofty is about, here is a brief description (thanks to Playground Ninja for the information):

"The walk from Waterfall Gully to Mount Lofty is THE premier hiking track in Adelaide, where elite sportspersons come to train. It ascends 1263ft over 4km of VERY steep track, and is graded as 'hard' by the Department of Environment."

When I read this just now, I was seriously like WOW. I didnt realise that it was the premier track, nor did I know how many ft it was! Crazy school. 

Here is our awesome team of 12wbt members at the bottom of the mountain:

Today for me was NOT about PBs. I knew that we had many new faces amongst our group and I wanted to be the motivator and supporter. A few speedy ninjas made their way ahead and however I promised one very awesome lady, who I have now named, Determined Ninja, that I would not leave her behind. Determined Ninja was appropriately dressed in black and had never climbed Mt Lofty before so the aim was to make it to the top, however slow or fast she wanted to go. 

1hr and 18mins later, we made our Rocky appearance at the top of the mountain! xxx Ninja did fantastic and she had the fighting spirit of a ninja who never will give up! So proud of her!! 

Shameless selfie of the three of us at the top waiting for Playground Ninja! Excuse my "nude" face and squinty eyes!

Me and Determined Ninja! ROCKSTAR!!

Playground Ninja & Determined Ninja!

Water bottles were dropped on the way down. BUT IT WASNT ME this time! I had my hydration pack (totally recommend for anyone planning to hikes and climbs like this!!!)

Everyone who participated today was an absolute rockstar and should be super proud of what they accomplished today! Today showed me again that such an awesome program has brought together so many like minded FANTASTIC people. I genuinely believe I have made friends for life through this program and cant wait to do Round 1 with these awesome people!

Take note 12wbt, Adelaide is going leaps and bounds to get you to notice us! OUR NUMBER 1 GOAL - GET A FINALE IN ADELAIDE!!!!!

Oh and how appropriate to see this little gorgeous creature in a tree before we all left:

Love our Aussie Nature!

After all was said and done, I made my way home to get ready to go to the Farm. I was meant to have my massage but with our late start, time was cut very fine and I had to reshedule til next Saturday which works PERFECTLY because next Saturday, I am running the 5km Dolphin Run with one awesome 12wbt Ninja and a few others from our crew as well!

Ninja Dog thought it was appropriate to not sit in the seat like a normal dog but to do this on our trip to the farm:

She makes me laugh. 

On the way here, Hubby Ninja stopped at my favourite (soon to be local) fruit and veg shop so I could load up on Organic Milk, fruit and muesli for our stay. I may of thrown an organic yogurt in my bag for shits and giggles. I already have had one comment so far about organic product! The weekend has only just started!

Its been relaxing so far, I have my new Womens Health to read, Lola Berry's book to finish and a new one by Susie Burrell called "Losing the last 5kg" (http://www.susieburrell.com.au/) who is another well known Australian Nutritionist. Time has been also spent in the Veggie patch with MIL and Ninja Dog who rather enjoyed the grass (and was told off many times for trying to eat the veggies!):

and for those interested - dinner is safe. In celebration of Australia Day, its Roast Lamb and Veg. No alpaca on the plate :P

Hope you all have a fantastic long weekend! What have you got planned?

Project Reno and Spiders...

So last night, I swear to Lorna, that some pixie has come in and changed my 1.5kg dumbbells to 3kg each. I definitely was in struggle town last and my 30min workout felt like it went for eternity. My arms felt like they were gonna fall off but I finished that workout and made it my bitch!

I did have a minor girly moment, when I flicked out my mat and a spider came crawling out! GAH! I got all braved and ninja like, I stepped on that sucker and JFD my DVD. I am sorry to animal lovers who think spiders should be let back outside. I love all creatures EXCEPT spiders. I have a line, if they come inside, they have played Russian Roulette. If its me who finds it, generally they get a can of whoop arse or my foot (depending if Im being brave ninja). If its hubby ninja, depending on the size and type, they generally get taken back outside. I dont go getting up in their homes, they can stay out of mine. 

At our old place, we use to have this ultrasonic thing which plugged into the wall which kept mice and all creepy crawlies out. Best money we ever spent. I didn't have to be evil and kill little mices and spiders coz they stayed the hell away. We lived in harmony. When we move to Project Reno (more on that later), that thing is going back in the wall. Hell Ill even buy another one if I have to! (whatever you do, dont buy the cheap ones at bunnings, they dont work. You need to spend the $$ on the Plug in Pestfree - http://www.pestfree.com.au/.)

So yesterday we found out that our next adventure is only around the corner. Last year, around this time, we purchased a property with land which needs major renovation work thus I have dubbed it "Project Reno". As I am all about the anon factor of my blog, when I refer to our home, it will be this. Anyways, for the last 12 months, we have had tenants in Project Reno whilst we sorted out our other home and sold it. Our than house sold quicker than we thought and we have been residing with my dad until the tenants found another home to move to. Yesterday the tenants call and say, hey we have found another place, can we move out in two weeks to which I responded SURE! Gotta get back to the country and get out of the concrete jungle. Im not ungrateful for the help my dad has given us, buy by golly, I do not like metro!

So over the coming weeks, prepared for further whinging. My organization has just stepped up again. All just before going to Brisbane....Ahh the fun! 

This weekend plans to be another busy one on Saturday but than quiet for Sunday and Monday when we are off to visit the farm again. Nothing like only hearing the kookaburras, crickets and dealing with MIL and FIL1! I plan to take organic milk again. Time will tell if it will cause another "discussion" - will keep you posted. 

Tomorrow I trek up Mt Lofty again with the 12wbt girls, with my hydration pack this time! No more dropping water bottles! After this, I go home, shower and head off to see the forever gorgeous Beaute Ninja for a massage and pedicure. She is trying to raise $'s to go to Brisbane with us and also raising money for the Para Olympic team. You get either a massage or facial plus a mani or pedi for $60 OR just a mani and pedi (shellac) for $60. If your interested, hit me up an email and Ill send you the details. She is located in Brighton and is absolutely fantastico!

Than the plan after the massage is to just RELLLAAAXXX and plan the food/exercise for next week. Easy!

So what are your plans this weekend?