Like a duck... (WARNING: Serious post ahead!)

I was thinking today what to write tonight so I did not bore you with my boring life but honestly who am I kidding. My life is like a fricken roller coaster and just when I think Im on a nice path, smelling the roses (fkn hate that flower btw), something crops up and generally its one person who does it. Without you actually knowing me, I wont delve into it on here. Id be giving war and peace a run for its money. Lets just say this person is who gave birth to me and really thats where the connection ends. 

Said person is throwing shit at a fan and trying to meddle by trying to put a few people in the middle. Namely a child. One thing to piss me off quicker is an individual who does this. Children are innocent and do not need to be used to manipulate a situation for an adults benefit. Said individual has been doing this for years. Its always to manipulate someone or get something. Its wrong.

Any who, prior to getting home tonight, I was honestly was ready to just blow off a workout. Yes, I was thinking about it and thought that maybe I just needed to go to bed early and sleep (the heat is sapping me dry). Than I got told some info and it just really spiked me to lace up my sneakers and run. Run until I couldnt think anymore, run until the anger dissipated, run so I didnt cry. They dont deserve my tears. 

Its funny how say over a year ago, when a situation like this would cropped up, in particular with this person, the first place I would do is run....straight to the fridge/cupboard. I was an emotional eater. I ate when I was down, I ate when I was stressed, I ate when I was angry, I ate when I was frustrated....I didnt stop either and I ate mindlessly. Its how I ended up being over 100kg. I would eat anything and everything. I was a mess. 

Its funny to, the other day I was thinking, everyone has had the "Ah huh" moment, when do I get mine....I think I got one today when I stopped at the lake to take a breathier and just take in everything around me. Ive had my Uh Huh Moment back five years ago when I made the decision to cut her out of my life completely and change it all around. When this happened, I made a vow that I would never be like her. I will not rely on others to do my bidding, I will be a fighter. I was always a fighter, I was never someone to take the easy road. I work hard to be where I am but what drives me now is that vow. I wanted to be healthy, I didnt want to lifestyle she had (smoking, drinking, relying on pills to rid the pain...) and most of all, I dont want to be anything like her. Her life disgusts me. 

I know I have a long way to go  but I think in 5 years I have come a damn long way and I refuse to let anyone take that away from me. I am proud of what Ive achieved and I have more dreams to conquer. 

So whilst sitting on the lake, I watched these guys:

And out of all the ducks (there were many), this little ninja duck came up close to me:

He stood on the rock and he shook the water off and that's when I got the message. I too, need to be like that ninja duck. I need to shake it off. Let it roll off and let it go. Its not worth the stress, its not worth the anger. By sinking down and letting it affect me, Im reducing to that level which I vowed I would never allow. 

After my moment, I picked myself up off the bridge and put my music back in to run home (into the wind may I add, Im a fighter, I dont give up!). The next song that started was "Are we all we are" by P!nk and honestly, it couldnt have been more fitting to that moment and how I felt, especially this part:

"Four, that's how many years it took me to get through the lesson

That I had to do it all on my own

Three, that how many hail mary's they would pray for me

Thinkin I was gonna end up all alone

Two for second chance that you've given me,

Can it be, lucky me, lucky me, now lets go

One, its what we are, its what we are

All we all we are

All we all we are"

Tell me, when was your "ahh huh" moment and what was it?